[video] Leslie Knope: Socio-Linguistic Coordinator

[lesliemonster]

Hello, everyone. This is Leslie Knope.

[Sounding much more energized than her last audio! And this one is a full on video. She's sitting behind her trusty desk, hair neatly coiffed, suit jacket lint flee. To her side: a stack of idea binders!]

We've got a few exciting things coming up. Keep an eye out for the next book club meeting: we will be reading The Great Gatsby, a book that should ring especially true to life considering the most recent breach. Get your copies now!

But today, I'm contacting you to gauge interest in an upcoming event, inspired by Ms. Romanoff's call for linguists. If we were to host a barge-wide language exchange, who among you would be willing to offer to share their own language skills? It's a unique -- literally, a once-in-a-universe opportunity -- to broaden our cross cultural understanding and get to know one another just a little better.

Comments

[lesliemonster]

...wait. Does that mean you speak everything?

[That is so much more than her ipod is capable of.]

[secretasshole]

Excluding alien languages that have developed significantly differently from human ones, yes.

[lesliemonster]

That is amazing!

[secretasshole]

It's what I was designed to do. [Part of it, anyway. But yes, it is pretty amazing, you have made David's day. B)]

[lesliemonster]

Well, you were designed very well!

...can I ask a question? An academic one?

[secretasshole]

Of course.

[lesliemonster]

Why were you designed so handsome?

[secretasshole]

[David laughs politely.]

I believe the idea was that people would be more comfortable around a physically attractive artificial being, rather than one with obvious physical deformities or abnormalities.

[lesliemonster]

Really? Because it actually makes me somewhat uncomfortable. Like, it's distracting. Your face is a beautiful distraction.

[secretasshole]

[... His logic protocols are saying that's a compliment.] Thank you, Miss Knope.

[lesliemonster]

[It is, and it is not!]

Could you even gain ten pounds if you wanted to?

[secretasshole]

No.

[lesliemonster]

That is offensive.

[secretasshole]

Why?

[lesliemonster]

Only in a general, metaphorical sense.

[secretasshole]

I see.