![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[text; private to admiral]
Dec. 13th, 2012 03:38 amDear Admiral,
Thank you for helping to spread holiday cheer! Attached is my list of request for gifts. In addition to the items listed below, I would greatly appreciate it if everyone on the boat could get a copy of Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America. Written by me, Leslie Knope! I would love the opportunity to introduce my town to the world(s).
And! You are exceedingly hard to meet in person, Admiral, but I got you a Christmas present as well. I’ll drop it outside of what I think is your office? Possibly?
[Inside will be a #1 Boss mug. Of course, Ron Swanson is actually the world’s #1 boss, but ironically Leslie got him a mug last year that said “Admiral,” so the switch up seems very appropriate.]
( Jingle bells jingle yay jingle good for you! )
Thank you for helping to spread holiday cheer! Attached is my list of request for gifts. In addition to the items listed below, I would greatly appreciate it if everyone on the boat could get a copy of Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America. Written by me, Leslie Knope! I would love the opportunity to introduce my town to the world(s).
And! You are exceedingly hard to meet in person, Admiral, but I got you a Christmas present as well. I’ll drop it outside of what I think is your office? Possibly?
[Inside will be a #1 Boss mug. Of course, Ron Swanson is actually the world’s #1 boss, but ironically Leslie got him a mug last year that said “Admiral,” so the switch up seems very appropriate.]
( Jingle bells jingle yay jingle good for you! )
[Private to Agent Ron Sandoval]
Good afternoon, Mr. Sandoval. This is Leslie Knope. You may or may not remember me from the most recent port?
I have a few matters which I would like to discuss. If you have time this afternoon, would you like to meet for coffee?
Good afternoon, Mr. Sandoval. This is Leslie Knope. You may or may not remember me from the most recent port?
I have a few matters which I would like to discuss. If you have time this afternoon, would you like to meet for coffee?
Public Video / Open Spam: Day Four
Nov. 21st, 2012 11:23 pm[A day with the ghost of her father, a day of total hedonism, and one more day of being a hung over invalid. While Leslie hasn't spent the port in any particular danger, she has been exceedingly distracted. And been so very organized about it that she's caused everyone who was at the party (parties?) to be distracted as well.
It's unlike her, to be this negligent during a port. This given to distraction.
Now, after a shower and a walk through the garden -- one expansive look at the ground, she finally remembers why. What it was that the hotel was trying so hard to make her forget.]
Listen, everyone. I know where we are. I know exactly what this place--
[There's a scream, as she drops her communicator.]
Freaking BUSHES? REALLY?
[Then line stays open, but all the viewer will see is snow.]
It's unlike her, to be this negligent during a port. This given to distraction.
Now, after a shower and a walk through the garden -- one expansive look at the ground, she finally remembers why. What it was that the hotel was trying so hard to make her forget.]
Listen, everyone. I know where we are. I know exactly what this place--
[There's a scream, as she drops her communicator.]
Freaking BUSHES? REALLY?
[Then line stays open, but all the viewer will see is snow.]
VIDEO & Open Spam
Nov. 16th, 2012 08:12 pm[What's this? Well, it's Leslie Knope!]
Hello, everyone! This is Leslie Knope.
[And what's she doing? Uh, only planning the best night ever. No big deal. There's just piles of brownies, board games, gift baskets, wine, soda, music, and bean bags everywhere. Also a Karaoke machine, should the night take everyone there.]
Are you a lady? Do you want to hang out with other awesome ladies? Then come up to the deck from seven to ten. We've got snacks, we've got music, we've got drinks so long as you enjoy them responsibly, we've got games.
We've got gift baskets.
[AMAZING gift baskets. If you are a lady on the Barge, there is a personalized canvas tote with your name on it. Inside is a manicure kit (minus clippers, because prison), throw over blanket, and day planner.]
Most importantly: we've got a waffle bar. I hope to see all you ladies -- biological and gender identifying! -- there.
[ooc: Instead of flooding the log comm, feel free to Ladies Night in the comments below!]
Hello, everyone! This is Leslie Knope.
[And what's she doing? Uh, only planning the best night ever. No big deal. There's just piles of brownies, board games, gift baskets, wine, soda, music, and bean bags everywhere. Also a Karaoke machine, should the night take everyone there.]
Are you a lady? Do you want to hang out with other awesome ladies? Then come up to the deck from seven to ten. We've got snacks, we've got music, we've got drinks so long as you enjoy them responsibly, we've got games.
We've got gift baskets.
[AMAZING gift baskets. If you are a lady on the Barge, there is a personalized canvas tote with your name on it. Inside is a manicure kit (minus clippers, because prison), throw over blanket, and day planner.]
Most importantly: we've got a waffle bar. I hope to see all you ladies -- biological and gender identifying! -- there.
[ooc: Instead of flooding the log comm, feel free to Ladies Night in the comments below!]
[Leslie looks professional as ever, dressed in a bright blue blazer and ready to represent her town, state, country, gender, political beliefs, and world!
...still. There's something beneath that calm, composed smile. Caution, perhaps. Or willingness to poke stupid teenagers in the eye.]
Good afternoon, everyone. I am Leslie Knope of Pawnee, Indiana. If anyone from the Parks and Recreation department or city hall is listening, I would love to touch base!
[Anyone from Pawnee, really.
Except Greg Pikitis.]
Alternatively, if any of you happen to have questions about the barge itself or this rehabilitation program, I would be happy to answer them.
[Unless they are stupid questions from stupid Greg Pikitis.]
...still. There's something beneath that calm, composed smile. Caution, perhaps. Or willingness to poke stupid teenagers in the eye.]
Good afternoon, everyone. I am Leslie Knope of Pawnee, Indiana. If anyone from the Parks and Recreation department or city hall is listening, I would love to touch base!
[Anyone from Pawnee, really.
Except Greg Pikitis.]
Alternatively, if any of you happen to have questions about the barge itself or this rehabilitation program, I would be happy to answer them.
[Unless they are stupid questions from stupid Greg Pikitis.]
[Video] Knope 1985
Oct. 22nd, 2012 12:14 pm[Before turning on her communicator – which is so much smaller than any other video camera she has ever seen! – Leslie Knope, age 10, has carefully arranged her desk. Most of the books are still in place, but there is a new abundance of glitter pens, Lisa Frank binders, posters of unicorns, and neon colored paper.
These are all things that the adult Leslie Knope does in fact own, but was saving for an emergency.
Incidentally, her warden item – a hand carved wooden pen, is teetering near the edge of the desk. Shoved aside in favor of a troll doll.]
Hello, everyone. I am Leslie Knope. I am ten years old, from Pawnee, Indiana. There seems to be some confusion, as to how we all got here and why. I thought that it might be helpful if anyone listening to this message could respond with their name and age, and any known medical conditions – allergies, diabetes, etc. That way, the adults have a better idea of how many little kids need watched.
[Leslie is CLEARLY a big kid. She nods, and looks over the list in front of her, tapping poof-ball tipped pen on the desk.]
Also, I have an idea for a community bonding project, but need a grown up’s help first.
These are all things that the adult Leslie Knope does in fact own, but was saving for an emergency.
Incidentally, her warden item – a hand carved wooden pen, is teetering near the edge of the desk. Shoved aside in favor of a troll doll.]
Hello, everyone. I am Leslie Knope. I am ten years old, from Pawnee, Indiana. There seems to be some confusion, as to how we all got here and why. I thought that it might be helpful if anyone listening to this message could respond with their name and age, and any known medical conditions – allergies, diabetes, etc. That way, the adults have a better idea of how many little kids need watched.
[Leslie is CLEARLY a big kid. She nods, and looks over the list in front of her, tapping poof-ball tipped pen on the desk.]
Also, I have an idea for a community bonding project, but need a grown up’s help first.
Hello, everyone. This is Leslie Knope.
[Sounding much more energized than her last audio! And this one is a full on video. She's sitting behind her trusty desk, hair neatly coiffed, suit jacket lint flee. To her side: a stack of idea binders!]
We've got a few exciting things coming up. Keep an eye out for the next book club meeting: we will be reading The Great Gatsby, a book that should ring especially true to life considering the most recent breach. Get your copies now!
But today, I'm contacting you to gauge interest in an upcoming event, inspired by Ms. Romanoff's call for linguists. If we were to host a barge-wide language exchange, who among you would be willing to offer to share their own language skills? It's a unique -- literally, a once-in-a-universe opportunity -- to broaden our cross cultural understanding and get to know one another just a little better.
[Sounding much more energized than her last audio! And this one is a full on video. She's sitting behind her trusty desk, hair neatly coiffed, suit jacket lint flee. To her side: a stack of idea binders!]
We've got a few exciting things coming up. Keep an eye out for the next book club meeting: we will be reading The Great Gatsby, a book that should ring especially true to life considering the most recent breach. Get your copies now!
But today, I'm contacting you to gauge interest in an upcoming event, inspired by Ms. Romanoff's call for linguists. If we were to host a barge-wide language exchange, who among you would be willing to offer to share their own language skills? It's a unique -- literally, a once-in-a-universe opportunity -- to broaden our cross cultural understanding and get to know one another just a little better.
Apology Tour 2012: Audio
Oct. 15th, 2012 11:53 pm[ooc: post is backdated to three days after the Boardwalk Empire-esque flood.]
[Leslie Knope has spent the past three days in a self inflicted cocoon of SHAME. But even though she is now a law-breaking, Jesse-beating-up, moonshine-hustling criminal, and officially one of the worst people on the barge, she still has a job to do, darn it.
She has already apologized to Jesse, but that is not enough. Not nearly.
So she sits up, brushes herself off, and starts to speak:]
I would like to personally apologize to anyone that I may have offended, insulted, shamed, threatened, assaulted, murdered, waterboarded, knuckle punched, chainsawed, belittled, and/or put in a compromising position over the course of the last few days.
[Private to Toshiko]
I am sorry that I took your beautiful, intelligent brain and used it for evil.
[Private to Lua]
I am sorry that I took it upon myself to be your gang's token insane member.
[Private to Omar]
I am sorry that I put myself in the position where I was robbed by you. How are you?
[Leslie Knope has spent the past three days in a self inflicted cocoon of SHAME. But even though she is now a law-breaking, Jesse-beating-up, moonshine-hustling criminal, and officially one of the worst people on the barge, she still has a job to do, darn it.
She has already apologized to Jesse, but that is not enough. Not nearly.
So she sits up, brushes herself off, and starts to speak:]
I would like to personally apologize to anyone that I may have offended, insulted, shamed, threatened, assaulted, murdered, waterboarded, knuckle punched, chainsawed, belittled, and/or put in a compromising position over the course of the last few days.
[Private to Toshiko]
I am sorry that I took your beautiful, intelligent brain and used it for evil.
[Private to Lua]
I am sorry that I took it upon myself to be your gang's token insane member.
[Private to Omar]
I am sorry that I put myself in the position where I was robbed by you. How are you?
[ooc: this is forward dated to some nebulous time frame after people start to figure out what is going on with the sickness. So please feel free to ignore it/have it reach your character after they've figured out The Deal. Log post to follow!]
Hello, everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Leslie Knope. Warden and co-captain of the Barge Book Club.
I'm contacting you today to both solicit for and offer assistance. You may have already figured out for yourselves the root of the sickness going around the barge, and the cure.
Now, some of you may have your reasons for lying. That's not really any of my business. [Unless your name is Omar, Omar.] I'm just interested in offering up a listening ear for whomever needs it. I can promise you that whatever I hear, so long as it does not directly threaten the life of another passenger aboard this ship, will remain confidential. I will enact similar promises from any other individuals that volunteer to listen. You may speak to whichever volunteer you feel most comfortable with.
And also, I will have a lot of comfortable pillows to sit on, hot chocolate, and popcorn. So there's that. Look for us set up on the deck in two hours.
[Filtered to Wardens.]
I would appreciate any help you would be willing to offer, but only from those that can truly promise not to repeat a word of what they hear. I know there's no binding legal contract here, so all the participants have to trust is your word.
I feel that certain inmates might be more apt to trust Wardens who have already graduated from this program, so any volunteers on that front would be very appreciated.
Hello, everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Leslie Knope. Warden and co-captain of the Barge Book Club.
I'm contacting you today to both solicit for and offer assistance. You may have already figured out for yourselves the root of the sickness going around the barge, and the cure.
Now, some of you may have your reasons for lying. That's not really any of my business. [Unless your name is Omar, Omar.] I'm just interested in offering up a listening ear for whomever needs it. I can promise you that whatever I hear, so long as it does not directly threaten the life of another passenger aboard this ship, will remain confidential. I will enact similar promises from any other individuals that volunteer to listen. You may speak to whichever volunteer you feel most comfortable with.
And also, I will have a lot of comfortable pillows to sit on, hot chocolate, and popcorn. So there's that. Look for us set up on the deck in two hours.
[Filtered to Wardens.]
I would appreciate any help you would be willing to offer, but only from those that can truly promise not to repeat a word of what they hear. I know there's no binding legal contract here, so all the participants have to trust is your word.
I feel that certain inmates might be more apt to trust Wardens who have already graduated from this program, so any volunteers on that front would be very appreciated.
[Private to Omar Little]
Hello, Omar. This is Leslie Knope. We've spoken previously. [No mention of the warden assumption -- to be entirely fair, it was one that she made.]
As you've been informed, you and I will be working together towards your graduation. I'd like to meet and talk about where to go from here. Are you free for brunch? I have access to a waffle maker!
Hello, Omar. This is Leslie Knope. We've spoken previously. [No mention of the warden assumption -- to be entirely fair, it was one that she made.]
As you've been informed, you and I will be working together towards your graduation. I'd like to meet and talk about where to go from here. Are you free for brunch? I have access to a waffle maker!
[Leslie is wearing just about the most comfortable looking pajamas you have ever seen, and her hair is pulled back into two pigtails. Somehow, even though this coma came out of nowhere, she was ready.
But she does not look well rested. Not at all. She looks devastated. And mad. And maybe later, a little drunk. On Snake Juice or waffles, one of the two.]
I missed my chance to go to Hogwarts?
But she does not look well rested. Not at all. She looks devastated. And mad. And maybe later, a little drunk. On Snake Juice or waffles, one of the two.]
I missed my chance to go to Hogwarts?
[At first, the voice is nothing but calm and professional. But there is a note of something. She's waiting for a storm to break. A storm of terrible human being.]
A hearty welcome, to all of you tuning in. I'm Leslie Knope, formerly of the Parks Department of Pawnee, Indiana.
Please let me know if I can answer any questions.
( Filtered to all wardens )
A hearty welcome, to all of you tuning in. I'm Leslie Knope, formerly of the Parks Department of Pawnee, Indiana.
Please let me know if I can answer any questions.
( Filtered to all wardens )
Video: Thank you, Mad Dog!
Jun. 8th, 2012 03:51 pmBackdated to the day after return to Port.
[Leslie sits at her desk in a sweat suit instead of her usual office wear. Her hair is tied back, and she looks just as exhausted as she does content.]
Hello, everyone. I just wanted to—
[She clears her throat, a bit. She’d managed to accomplish in three days what she’d been working on for three years at home. It will make a mid-level bureaucrat a little emotional. She smiles.]
Thank you. To everyone who helped rebuild the park. If this is what it means to me, I can’t imagine what it meant to the people that lived there. Thank you so very much.
Before departing, one of the park volunteers gifted me with a bottle of homemade wine. [She holds up the bottle. It actually has “xxx” written over it. “Love, Mad Dog” is also written in permanent marker on the side.]
It was a thank-you gesture to everyone who helped out. I’m going to have a glass before crashing. Feel free to join me.
[Leslie sits at her desk in a sweat suit instead of her usual office wear. Her hair is tied back, and she looks just as exhausted as she does content.]
Hello, everyone. I just wanted to—
[She clears her throat, a bit. She’d managed to accomplish in three days what she’d been working on for three years at home. It will make a mid-level bureaucrat a little emotional. She smiles.]
Thank you. To everyone who helped rebuild the park. If this is what it means to me, I can’t imagine what it meant to the people that lived there. Thank you so very much.
Before departing, one of the park volunteers gifted me with a bottle of homemade wine. [She holds up the bottle. It actually has “xxx” written over it. “Love, Mad Dog” is also written in permanent marker on the side.]
It was a thank-you gesture to everyone who helped out. I’m going to have a glass before crashing. Feel free to join me.
[Instead of her usual office wear, Leslie is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. There is a duffle bag at her side and a hard hat on her desk. There’s a determined look on her face – one that any of her friends at home might recognize, but one that is new to these people. She came here to do a job, and now’s the time to do it.]
Hello everyone. This is Leslie Knope: chairwoman of the newly formed “Habitable Gotham” committee. All of our goals are right there in the name. If this city is ever going to be a place that people live in again, they all need to be encouraged to treat it as such.
With that in mind, our goal for the next two days is simple. We are going to rebuild a park. Seeking any and all volunteers, now.
[Private to Benton Fraser, Mark Hoffman, Steve Rogers, and Dick Grayson.]
Can I count on your support?
Hello everyone. This is Leslie Knope: chairwoman of the newly formed “Habitable Gotham” committee. All of our goals are right there in the name. If this city is ever going to be a place that people live in again, they all need to be encouraged to treat it as such.
With that in mind, our goal for the next two days is simple. We are going to rebuild a park. Seeking any and all volunteers, now.
[Private to Benton Fraser, Mark Hoffman, Steve Rogers, and Dick Grayson.]
Can I count on your support?
Video Two: In Remembrance
May. 28th, 2012 02:23 pmGood afternoon, everyone. For those of you hailing from different planets, today is a federal holiday in America called Memorial Day.
As Captain Rogers has already aptly mentioned, today we take the time to remember the sacrifices of our men and women in the armed forces. I suspect that is a sentiment that isn't limited to my country or planet alone. Those of you who would like to are welcome to join me on the deck at 7, for a small candle lighting ceremony and a moment of silence.
Thank you for your time.
As Captain Rogers has already aptly mentioned, today we take the time to remember the sacrifices of our men and women in the armed forces. I suspect that is a sentiment that isn't limited to my country or planet alone. Those of you who would like to are welcome to join me on the deck at 7, for a small candle lighting ceremony and a moment of silence.
Thank you for your time.
Video One: Hello Citizens!
May. 12th, 2012 12:52 amHello, Paw – um. Wait a—
[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]
Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.
[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?
[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:
"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!
P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]
[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]
Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.
[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?
[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:
"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!
P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]
