[video] Leslie Knope: Socio-Linguistic Coordinator

[lesliemonster]

Hello, everyone. This is Leslie Knope.

[Sounding much more energized than her last audio! And this one is a full on video. She's sitting behind her trusty desk, hair neatly coiffed, suit jacket lint flee. To her side: a stack of idea binders!]

We've got a few exciting things coming up. Keep an eye out for the next book club meeting: we will be reading The Great Gatsby, a book that should ring especially true to life considering the most recent breach. Get your copies now!

But today, I'm contacting you to gauge interest in an upcoming event, inspired by Ms. Romanoff's call for linguists. If we were to host a barge-wide language exchange, who among you would be willing to offer to share their own language skills? It's a unique -- literally, a once-in-a-universe opportunity -- to broaden our cross cultural understanding and get to know one another just a little better.

Comments

[ private]

[surfaceshine]

[Hey, whoa, not what he meant to do]

What?

I'm in the common area on level four.

Private>>>SPAM

[lesliemonster]

Okay.

[And with that, she shuts off her communicator. She's coming, Dean. Deal with it.

And when she shows up, she has pie in hand. So that's amazing.]

What's up with your inmate?

SPAM

[surfaceshine]

Uh.

[Dean is indeed set up in the common area, like he has been for a while; he's got his journal, a notebook, his laptop, and a half-full beer spread out on a table and his communicator still sitting on his knee when he glances up and sees Leslie, and smiles.]

Hey, sweetheart. [And then the pie, and both eyebrows raise as he sits back from where he's leaned over his notes, pen still in hand.] I'm still workin' that, actually - apparently sometimes he loses his mind a little bit and tries to put people through walls and burn down forests. Who knew?

[lesliemonster]

[Dean! Look at all this research! This is the most sexy you have ever looked!

Leslie takes a moment to bask in it all, before taking a seat next to her friend. Then, she switches his notes for her pie without asking. Aside from a generous amount of underlines, it is all very legible!]

Yeesh. At least our fake forest is fire resistant?

[surfaceshine]

[There's a moment where Dean almost reaches to stop her, fingers twitching with the aborted motion; but then he figures what the hell, if she can make heads or tails of it, it can only help. Besides, now he has pie, and a perfectly viable excuse for being distracted long enough for her to look over his research.

There are more than a few predictable items in the notes, questions written in the margins like "What the hell even is this?" and copious, occasionally dubious, doodling; and a few less predictable items, like strings of equations lining the bottom of the page in the same block handwriting. There are two other distinct hands here and there but the bulk of it is Dean's, and there are a few keywords repeated throughout - "clone," "DNA," "genetics," "Kryptonian."]

Yeah. Too bad the rest of us aren't.

It ain't his fault. It's... he's... It's complicated.

What happened with Omar?

[lesliemonster]

[The notes in the margins make her smile. They're just about the only thing that make sense. Leslie is an expert in many things, but alien DNA is definitely note one of them.

She grimaces, then takes a dollop of whip cream off the pie plate with her finger. Friends share.]

He held me up at gun point during the breach. Water under the bridge. I very much deserved it.

[surfaceshine]

[The hunter is pretty much in the same boat and trying to keep it above water at this point. Determination and dedication only count for so much.

Dean is still figuring out how to best come at the pie - he kind of just wants to unhinge his jaw and swallow it whole, but that would probably be weird. And also anatomically impossible for him, at least while remaining comfortable enough to enjoy eating it.

He holds the plate out so she can get at it, then frowns across at her.]

Still hanging onto that, huh? Gotta let that shit go. It's gonna happen again, and it's not gonna be you, either.

[He scoops up a fingerful himself and pops it into his mouth.]

[lesliemonster]

[She looks up, surprised at the comment.]

Oh, not at all. I really am over it.

[Then, she remembers something very key: there are forks in her jacket pocket. She pulls one out, and offers it to Dean.]

But I'm worried about Omar. I won't go into detail, but I'm worried that the breach brought up some stuff for him that's not good to keep inside. But "keep inside" is his default mode. His only mode.

[surfaceshine]

Good.

[Dean accepts the fork after he's sure his finger is clean, settling further back in his seat and holding the pie so they both can get at it. He's not the greatest at this kind of thing, but he can listen anyway.

And what he hears sounds really familiar.]

Yeah, sometimes I wonder if that ain't the point. For those things to hit close to home, I mean.

[He's quiet a moment, thinking. Then:]

You managed to get any kind of foothold? Anything at all in common, or that ain't him baiting you or you grabbing at straws?

[lesliemonster]

Not really. [She shrugs, and reaches out for a bite with her own fork. There's a hint of resignation, there. Not that Leslie's giving up, but contrary to the front she puts on in front of Omar, she is fully aware of what he thinks of her.]

Our interactions are mostly a joke to him. The 50 Shades thing -- which actually led to a surprisingly good book club meeting! -- is pretty textbook. I try and engage with him, he turns it into a joke. And I've got to be okay with that, or it's a complete brush off, which doesn't help anyone.

[surfaceshine]

Yeah, a lotta things are probably jokes to him.

[Dean and Omar aren't, really, all that much alike; in some ways, yes, and in others completely different. He's not even fully aware of why he turns everything into a joke himself, nor enough about Leslie's inmate to know if it's remotely the same reason - not the demons, obviously, or the grave digging or the spell-working. The rest of it.

But.]

Not that you're asking for my advice, and not that I can guarantee it'll be worth anything, but any kind of reaction might be better'n the bullshit. Positive, negative, anything to find something he ain't running like a fixed game.

[lesliemonster]

Yeah, but--

[Gaaah. She puts her head between her knees for a moment, thinking it over. It's not that she's overcome or has the vapors, it's just honestly a position that helps her think better.

She pops up, a moment later.]

But what if his reaction is running? He has a history of that. There's nothing that's keeping him from checking in with me other than good will. I'm not going to be one of those wardens who throws their inmate in zero for ridiculously minor stuff, and he knows that.

[surfaceshine]

[Dean raises an eyebrow at the odd position, tilting his head to study it, then smirking in pleasant surprise when she's back with him.] Welcome back.

[Then she's talking and he's eating another bite of pie, shrugging and answering around it pocketed into his cheek. Mostly.]

It ain't like there's anywhere TO run around here, but yeah, I see your point. And tightening up's only gonna make him push back harder anyway.

He like arguing? Like, just for the sake of arguing?

[lesliemonster]

[Dean, why are you adorable? Fully vertical, she smiles.]

Thanks.

[But thinking about Omar, the smile's gone. She tucks her legs up onto the sofa, working her observations out as she says them.]

I think arguing takes more effort than he likes to showcase.

[surfaceshine]

[Dean shifts slightly to give her more room, but is careful to keep the plate evenly between them. Seeing the smile vanish, he shrugs.]

Well, then I'm tapped. But then, I never was any good at psychology anyway.

[lesliemonster]

Yeah, but you're pretty.

[She takes another bite, chewing longer than is necessary.]

Any reaction, huh?

[surfaceshine]

Damn straight.

[Dean spends the interim eying the plate and wondering if he could conceivably get away with licking it clean. Then, he glances over and raises an eyebrow at her.]

Yeah, that's the way I'd go. Mind you, if anything catches on fire or explodes, I'm playing dumb.

[lesliemonster]

I'll keep that in mind.

[This sucks. Leslie is going to go ahead and groan like a six year old faking a sore throat frustrated but ultimately responsible adult.]

The worst that happens is he request a new warden, I guess. And the worst wardens are already paired up.

[For once, she is not talking about Jesse! Progress!]

[surfaceshine]

[Time to get this wagon back on the trail.

Dean pulls a suitably over the top offended face.]

Dude, I'm right here. I can hear you.