5: Audio

[lesliemonster]

[At first, the voice is nothing but calm and professional. But there is a note of something. She's waiting for a storm to break. A storm of terrible human being.]

A hearty welcome, to all of you tuning in. I'm Leslie Knope, formerly of the Parks Department of Pawnee, Indiana.

Please let me know if I can answer any questions.



We have an all hands on deck situation.

His name is Greg Pikitis. He has been the peeling foot skin in the Achilles Heel of the Parks and Recreation department for three years. He has the charisma and terrible manners of a reality TV star, and now he can communicate with the barge.

It doesn't matter that he can't touch anything -- I assure you, he will still find a way to vandalize, harass, and general be the living worst. Keep him away from your inmates. He will only incite them to greater levels of douchebag.

Comments

[lesliemonster]

...I have no idea what any of those words mean. Is this a cocaine situation? Is that what we are talking about?

Because if that is the case, you have amazing manners for someone involved in the drug trade.

[disobedientfish]

[Leslie, there are words coming out of your mouth but they do not make any sense. Andrej is looking at you in this very confused matter. Is this woman mad? No, that would be extremely rude.]

Oh, no, my lady, it is nothing like that. It is a morning drink that revitalizes oneself. Made with stewed leaves.

Ah, thank you.

[lesliemonster]

Oh! Tea? Like...space tea?

I'm not a big fan of normal tea, but maybe the space aspect adds to it.

Probably not, though. It's still probably terrible.

[disobedientfish]

[A beat. Go with it.]

Yes, space tea, I suppose, though I imagine anyone who called it that would look like a proper fool.

I must admit to deep offense on behalf of rhyti. You are calling it terrible and have never even tried it.

[lesliemonster]

Are you calling me a fool?

[Why do handsome people get to insult you in a way that doesn't really sound like an insult :|?]

I don't actually think there's any -- rhyti? -- rhyti on the ship.

[disobedientfish]

Oh, certainly not. As you're unfamiliar with it, giving it a strange name would seem a natural first step to improving your life with it's addition. Though I shall keep this secret close to my blackened heart, I would suggest the lady call it rhyti to others for fear they may badly judge you.