07; Audio

[lesliemonster]

[Private to Omar Little]

Hello, Omar. This is Leslie Knope. We've spoken previously. [No mention of the warden assumption -- to be entirely fair, it was one that she made.]

As you've been informed, you and I will be working together towards your graduation. I'd like to meet and talk about where to go from here. Are you free for brunch? I have access to a waffle maker!

Comments

[lesliemonster]

[WOW. Um. That is...that is certainly a word, that Omar just used. A word that Leslie has absolutely no authority at all at comment on.

So her eyes go wide, while she clearly gropes for something to say.]

Well...shank or no shank. You've got years ahead of you that you didn't have previously -- maybe you don't want them to end with lung cancer?

[omar]

[He was feeling a little down, Leslie, so thank you for that. He grins lazily.] That happen often in these part, you think?

[lesliemonster]

[You are welcome? This is all very confusing. She'd expected to be more on her game.]

Lung Cancer? Well, no. Not here. But the whole point is that you can go anywhere after graduation. You may wind up somewhere that you want to live in for a long time.

[omar]

Maybe you can make that part of my graduation plan, then, warden. [It's just as lazy as his smile, born of absolute skepticism. He has no intentions of actually graduating, sorry, Les! ...But not really all that sorry.]

[lesliemonster]

It's your graduation plan. A lot of what goes into it is up to you.

[She opens her door, gesturing inside.]

Would you like to take a seat? I've got coffee and M&Ms.

[In the same cup, because Leslie's an adult.]

[omar]

[That just gets a shrug. She'll find out soon enough, he's pretty sure. He lingers in the hallway for a second, taking one last drag on the Risa-model-Newport. Then he crushes it against the bottom of his boot and goes inside, hands in his pockets.

Now that he's in here, he's looking around carefully. He knows she's read his file, he knows she knows he won't do a thing to her -- not now and not ever -- but it can't hurt to know where things are, right? And it can't hurt to let her know he knows, so he makes it obvious for her.]

[lesliemonster]

[He won't have to look hard to find her. Leslie wears everything about herself out in the open. There are pictures of her family, friends and, yes, various female politicians. Her room is teetering with bookshelves. Shoved in them are volumes of policy, feminist theory, biographies, and fiction. There are even a few books of mythology on there.

True to her word, there is a coffee station set up. She moves over towards it.]

Do you take milk and sugar?

[Who wouldn't? Coffee is kind of gross.]

[omar]

Nah. That's fine. [There are also a lot of pictures of her with this pretty dark-skinned girl, Omar notes, and that's cool with him. He can't say he's got a lot of respect for Leslie right now, but it goes up by maybe a point, seeing she's so open about it. There's not many people in his part of town that would be, himself excluded of course.

The rest is interesting for other reasons, mostly because it doesn't quite fit the profile of the raving Harry Potter fangirl he saw before. Good to know.

He takes a seat, slouching with his hands between his knees.]

Black's fine. Eyyo, can you get me some Cheerios sometime though along with those Newports? Honey Nut, for preference.

[lesliemonster]

[Ann Perkins is not, in fact, Leslie's girlfriend. But she is her partner in life and friendship, and the most beautiful nurse in the world, and Leslie's very best friend and possibly soulmate.

But enough about Ann (not possible).

Leslie pours the coffee, and hands a mug out to Omar. Her own is sitting on her desk, still topped off with whip cream.]

That's reasonable enough. But I'd want a few things from you in return.

[omar]

[He's not a big coffee drinker, but he takes the cup from her with a polite nod of thanks, raising a brow over the rim as he gives it a sort of cursory, customary sip.]

Ain't all that much I can get you, I'm afraid. Didn't you hear? I ain't a warden after all.

[lesliemonster]

No. No, you're not. What I need from you is to remember that.

[Leslie sets her coffee mug down, and the Harry Potter fangirl isn't gone, per say. But Leslie is a woman that has been able to run a succesful department on a shoestring budget for nearly eight years, and she knows when it's time to be direct.

This is her, being direct.]

What I need from you, Omar, is to set aside the idea that you have any right to murder an inmate. No matter what the circumstances, no matter who the inmate.

[omar]

And that's all I need to do for my Honey Nut Cheerios.

[lesliemonster]

If I had to guess, I'd say that's what you have to do for your graduation.

But Cheerios, in the meantime. Sure.

[omar]

Got some bad news for you on that front, warden.

[lesliemonster]

You're developing diabetes?

[omar]

I hopes not, but I can live without my cereal. [And honestly, he'll just steal the cigarettes. >>]

[lesliemonster]

[That is along the lines of what she was expecting, but Leslie looks disappointed nonetheless.]

You can live without doling out your own sense of justice, too.

[As cool as that sounds. God, that sounds cool. Leslie's face works very hard not to betray how cool she thinks that sounds.]

We already have wardens. There are already systems in place to deal with inmates who get out of hand. As you well know, being an inmate that's gotten out of hand.

[omar]

System don't seem to be working all too well, now do it? That boy killed three people already.

[lesliemonster]

Yes. He had.

[What? Is she supposed to not recognize a valid point?]

Your killing him doesn't change that. And I would highly doubt that it will alter his behavior in the future.

I mean -- how many drug dealers stopped being drugged dealers, just because they knew there was a chance that you would come along and steal from them?

[omar]

None. I's counting on that for my livelihood.

This different, though.

[lesliemonster]

Speaking of, we need to see about getting you a job on the Barge.

How so?

[omar]

No thanks.

Now how you think a man like Avon Barksdale or Prop Joe gonna just step out the game? Even if they wanted to, and they don't, 'cause most of 'em got the resources to manage around me unless I gets to huffing and puffing -- guess Barksdale crew done learnt that one the hard way. But even if they wanted to, where you think they gonna be going? Where you think their crew gonna be? You think anyone in Baltimore know how to get legitimized?

But this thing, with Ladd... this just a hobby for him. Ain't no supply or demand in what he got. Ain't no one counting on him but that pretty little girl of his, neither. He could stop any time. I means to see he do. And if you really wants to cut down on the bodies round here? You should be doing the same.

[lesliemonster]

[Again, Omar has a perfectly valid point. One that Leslie takes a long moment to consider, before she responds.

Because as valid as the point is, there's a truth underlining it that she's gotten from his file. Where Omar came from, he seemed to some people less of a man and more of a force of nature. His own system of order. It sounds difficult, trying to be just a man after that.]

I...don't think Ladd's the only one here with hobby, Omar. That's not to say that I'm comparing your respective philosophies in any tangible way.

But it seems to me that a lot of what you're doing isn't driven by supply or demand, either. Ladd has a warden. The barge has a way of bringing people back from the dead -- not that that makes killing them okay. There's a system of checks and balances in place that has worked successfully for many graduated inmates.

You're not part of that checks and balance system. And I think that bores you.

[omar]

[If Omar said things like, "bitch, please," he might say, "bitch, please," here, but he doesn't. His face shows what he thinks of that, though.]

That baby warden ain't stop him from killing them other boys, did it? [And no offense, Leslie, but you're not doing a very good job of stopping Omar right now, either.] Y'all say checks and balances, but I heard enough mutterings around here even staying off the warden filter. Ain't many people really believe in that.

You tell me this, Leslie Knope: how many people on board right now that ain't been done at least once?

[lesliemonster]

[At least he agrees the we do not call ladies bitches.]

I honestly could not tell you. At least one more than needed to be.