Apology Tour 2012: Audio
Oct. 15th, 2012 11:53 pm[ooc: post is backdated to three days after the Boardwalk Empire-esque flood.]
[Leslie Knope has spent the past three days in a self inflicted cocoon of SHAME. But even though she is now a law-breaking, Jesse-beating-up, moonshine-hustling criminal, and officially one of the worst people on the barge, she still has a job to do, darn it.
She has already apologized to Jesse, but that is not enough. Not nearly.
So she sits up, brushes herself off, and starts to speak:]
I would like to personally apologize to anyone that I may have offended, insulted, shamed, threatened, assaulted, murdered, waterboarded, knuckle punched, chainsawed, belittled, and/or put in a compromising position over the course of the last few days.
[Private to Toshiko]
I am sorry that I took your beautiful, intelligent brain and used it for evil.
[Private to Lua]
I am sorry that I took it upon myself to be your gang's token insane member.
[Private to Omar]
I am sorry that I put myself in the position where I was robbed by you. How are you?
[Leslie Knope has spent the past three days in a self inflicted cocoon of SHAME. But even though she is now a law-breaking, Jesse-beating-up, moonshine-hustling criminal, and officially one of the worst people on the barge, she still has a job to do, darn it.
She has already apologized to Jesse, but that is not enough. Not nearly.
So she sits up, brushes herself off, and starts to speak:]
I would like to personally apologize to anyone that I may have offended, insulted, shamed, threatened, assaulted, murdered, waterboarded, knuckle punched, chainsawed, belittled, and/or put in a compromising position over the course of the last few days.
[Private to Toshiko]
I am sorry that I took your beautiful, intelligent brain and used it for evil.
[Private to Lua]
I am sorry that I took it upon myself to be your gang's token insane member.
[Private to Omar]
I am sorry that I put myself in the position where I was robbed by you. How are you?
[ Voice : Private ]
Date: 2012-10-16 04:20 am (UTC)Fingernails, Dean.
Fingernails.
[ Voice : Private ]
Date: 2012-10-16 04:23 am (UTC)[Okay this isn't working, so Dean goes serious for a moment.]
Sweetheart, I was there, I was an agent, I know; but it wasn't you.
[ Voice : Private ]
Date: 2012-10-16 04:26 am (UTC)[ Voice : Private ]
Date: 2012-10-18 05:49 am (UTC)It wasn't you.
[ Voice : Private ]
Date: 2012-10-19 12:34 am (UTC)[ Voice : Private ]
Date: 2012-10-25 03:05 am (UTC)[This firmly. Then, abruptly brighter:]
You hungry?