Apology Tour 2012: Audio
Oct. 15th, 2012 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lesliemonster[ooc: post is backdated to three days after the Boardwalk Empire-esque flood.]
[Leslie Knope has spent the past three days in a self inflicted cocoon of SHAME. But even though she is now a law-breaking, Jesse-beating-up, moonshine-hustling criminal, and officially one of the worst people on the barge, she still has a job to do, darn it.
She has already apologized to Jesse, but that is not enough. Not nearly.
So she sits up, brushes herself off, and starts to speak:]
I would like to personally apologize to anyone that I may have offended, insulted, shamed, threatened, assaulted, murdered, waterboarded, knuckle punched, chainsawed, belittled, and/or put in a compromising position over the course of the last few days.
[Private to Toshiko]
I am sorry that I took your beautiful, intelligent brain and used it for evil.
[Private to Lua]
I am sorry that I took it upon myself to be your gang's token insane member.
[Private to Omar]
I am sorry that I put myself in the position where I was robbed by you. How are you?
[Leslie Knope has spent the past three days in a self inflicted cocoon of SHAME. But even though she is now a law-breaking, Jesse-beating-up, moonshine-hustling criminal, and officially one of the worst people on the barge, she still has a job to do, darn it.
She has already apologized to Jesse, but that is not enough. Not nearly.
So she sits up, brushes herself off, and starts to speak:]
I would like to personally apologize to anyone that I may have offended, insulted, shamed, threatened, assaulted, murdered, waterboarded, knuckle punched, chainsawed, belittled, and/or put in a compromising position over the course of the last few days.
[Private to Toshiko]
I am sorry that I took your beautiful, intelligent brain and used it for evil.
[Private to Lua]
I am sorry that I took it upon myself to be your gang's token insane member.
[Private to Omar]
I am sorry that I put myself in the position where I was robbed by you. How are you?
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:38 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:42 am (UTC)All the same. I'm sorry. Also about the hit that I put out on you.
...I put out a hit on you. I've been reassured that it doesn't carry over.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:43 am (UTC)You took a hit out on me?
...how much it for?
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:45 am (UTC)I didn't even offer any money. It was a sort of "do it because I say so" situations?
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:46 am (UTC)That ain't no hit, yo. That's just an order.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:51 am (UTC)If that hadn't worked out, I was definitely willing to pay a lot of money! Apparently, other me had gold and stuff buried in a bunch of strange places.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 05:56 am (UTC)What about-- [Pause.] This so-called hit cover anyone else? Or just the big dog?
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-16 07:49 pm (UTC)She's frankly surprised he's opening any thread of conversation that could lead to Brandon.]
Honestly? I had free reign. You were at the top of my list, but Ben was on there too.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-17 01:34 pm (UTC)There woulda been a piece of trouble for you over that, you know.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-18 05:30 am (UTC)How have you been doing? If memory serves, this is one of your first breaches.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-18 11:17 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-10-19 12:36 am (UTC)[Ahem. Touche, Omar.]
That wasn't the same thing, though. You've never been a wizard before. [And Leslie has been one never.] You have been a stick up man.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-19 04:40 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-10-19 05:06 am (UTC)[There's a name hanging pretty heavily over the conversation, but she's certainly not going to say it outright.]
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-19 05:14 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-10-19 05:47 am (UTC)But -- she brings that up now, she's got the sense he won't talk to her again, ever. So instead, she settles on a slightly less uncomfortable -- but still really uncomfortable -- topic.]
I can, um. I understand a bit better now, why that life is so appealing to you. Other me was very content in her line of work. She liked the challenge of it.
[Private]
Date: 2012-10-19 05:55 am (UTC)When she doesn't rise to the bait, it doesn't make him relax much -- but the confession does bring a grin to his face.]
I told you -- y'all was pretty good at that.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-19 06:04 am (UTC)At the compliment, because Leslie is susceptible to flattery and takes it as one, she blushes.]
Me? No. [AHEM.] I mean -- it was an interesting experience.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-19 06:15 am (UTC)Sure did. You took to the game real well, all things considered. For a warden. You ever want to jump sides... Just saying, y'all seem to be enjoying that.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-19 05:49 pm (UTC)Like everyone's saying -- it wasn't me. It just turns out that skills that can be picked up at the Pawnee Rec center translate very well to being a 1920's lady gangster.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-20 10:28 am (UTC)