Video One: Hello Citizens!

[lesliemonster]

Hello, Paw – um. Wait a—

[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]

Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.

[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?

[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:

"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!

P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]

Comments

[lesliemonster]

So far, everyone has been reacting much more positively than I expected.

[Seriously -- everyone is responding to her comments without threatening to sue her or throwing garbage. Incredible!

But she's genuinely mystified as to this guy's thought process, and it shows in her expression.]

I don't make assumptions as to how other people are going to conduct themselves. I'm the only attitude I have any knowledge of, here. It might as well be a positive one.

[rass_bestie]

Those are wardens.

And I've never said that you shouldn't be positive. There are several positive wardens who don't treat this as a 'work exchange' I believe you called it?

[lesliemonster]

A resources exchange. That’s what it is. In exchange for my time on the barge, my parks department is receiving some much needed funding.

It’s an exchange I am happy to be part of. I see no reason not to be upfront about my motivations for coming here.

[rass_bestie]

Exactly when did I say 'don't be clear about your motivations' or 'don't be positive'?

Because you seem intent on putting words in my mouth which as you might imagine is getting quite irritating.

Clarity is fine. I'm here because for my fiancé. Positivity is also fine, many wardens here do quite well with a positive attitude.

But there's a difference between being positive and coming across as someone who's unaware of the gravity of your potential responsibility.

I came here after vapourising myself and someone who I cared about. I was not happy to be here nor did I appreciate the idea that I should be redeemed. Eventually through a lot of time and patience I did, but it wasn't easy and I would have been deeply insulted by anyone treating it as a mere outing.

Do you understand what I'm saying? [It's a legitimate question, no sign of trolling or anything else.]

[lesliemonster]

[Leslie’s expression goes calmly, exceedingly professional. She places her hands over top of one another, leaning forward on her desk. If you knew her well enough, you’d know that it was the posture she took before a speech.]

My responsibility is to help inmates reach graduation. My responsibility is to help prisoners, if terms are so important to you. To prepare them to go back into society and to prevent recidivism. There is a lot more to that than a positive attitude, though I can’t imagine that there is a place in the universe where things aren’t made better by one.

This is not a “mere outing” to me. I am not treating it as such. This is a chance to take the work that I have been doing for the past eight years of my life and apply it to a population who need it. To whose rehabilitation a recreational outlet is essential.

Essential. The U.S. Department of Justice -- and I am quoting, here -- stresses the importance of giving inmates a sport or similarly physical related outlet in order to enhance their physical, emotional, and social well being. I am here to contribute to that well being.

I am aware of the gravity of my responsibility. I am aware that I am serving a population of people who have undergone the kinds of trauma I can’t begin to imagine.

I understand my responsibilities. As far as understanding what you are saying? I understand that you are looking at my attitude and subsequently judging its merit with your own set of filters on. That isn’t my issue – that’s yours.

[rass_bestie]

The U.S. Department of Justice is a complete and utter mess of a failure on many levels. Including recidivism. Tiring them out is hardly the end all and be all of redemption. Each person here is unique and thus have unique needs.

Ah, yes, it's my fault you were unable to come across as someone who takes this seriously. Of course.

As for my 'filters', as you so blatantly dismiss them as, perhaps you should check your own. You're brand new and apparently in her thirties. I've been here a year and change and am over a billion years old.

I don't know why I bother worrying about you people fitting in and being respected. Clearly you couldn't give a toss, so why should I?

[And he hangs up.]

Private

[strangehistorian]

I'm sorry about him, he can be rather grumpy.

Private

[lesliemonster]

...that was grumpy?

Private

[strangehistorian]

I am not sure quite what he's upset about. I am fairly cheerful and we get along well enough.

[lesliemonster]

My guess is that the reasons he is upset have very little to do with me.

Or everything to do with me.

One of the two.