Video One: Hello Citizens!

[lesliemonster]

Hello, Paw – um. Wait a—

[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]

Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.

[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?

[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:

"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!

P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]

Comments

[thatscalledsokkastyle]

Hey there. I'm Sokka. From the Southern Water Tribe. Also planet Earth.

[He tilts his head to the side.]

Community activities?

[lesliemonster]

[Leslie glances to a globe adjacent to her desk. She has never heard of the southern water tribe -- but! A tribe that she is positive no one in Indiana is responsible for utterly massacring and then painting terribly racist murals about two hundred years after the fact.

This is already a very positive start to her day. She grins.]

Yes! Activities to provide a sense of recreation and bring the community together. I have a few ideas [fifty-seven], but I would be interested to hear what is already established.

[manlyknitting]

Admire the work, huh?

Let me guess, you're a warden.

[lesliemonster]

Yes, I am. I transferred in as part of a resources exchange program.

Nice to meet you!

[scentbombed]

Do we have any parks here?

...Do we have a community here?

[lesliemonster]

That is what I am wondering! If you don't have any parks, perhaps we could build one together, or focus on recreational activities in general. I've got plenty of experience on both fronts.

[Horn, tooting.]

Video:

[acid_rayne]

Oh, hey... Someone with optimism and can-do attitude...

I'm giving it a week before you turn into a suicidal wreck of self-loathing. Maybe two.

[lesliemonster]

[Leslie smiles, not bothered by a little dire forecasting. April says more ominous stuff when Leslie asks what her weekend plans are.

...A substantial amount of April's weekend plans involve dying in ditches. Or watching other people die in ditches. Which is strange, because Leslie is very proud of the lack of ditches in Pawnee.]

I will be happy to prove you wrong.

[trenchcoatedly]

Hello, Leslie. My name is Castiel. I am the supervisor of the greenhouse; you are free to visit at any time.

[lesliemonster]

[Greenhouse, you say? This makes Castiel tangentially involves Parks, and thus a comrade.]

I can't wait to see it. Does your gardening committee curate any sort of events?

[gotgreenmagic]

[There's a pause, and she considers saying something sarcastic but really? The cheery ones also tend to be the most resilient. Not that she's assigning value to optimism as a concept or anything.]

....We've got the CES above deck. Not what I'd call a park. It's a simulated natural environment and it doesn't stay the same so its status would be 'subject to change'.

[lesliemonster]

[Oh, just you wait, young woman with a passing resemblance to April Ludgate. There is cheeriness and then there is Leslie.]

Simulated? Like a...[she glances around, before leaning in and whispering]...like a holodeck?

[Not 100% clear on what that is, but Ben brings it up enough.]

[rass_bestie]

[Bit worried there about the good mood, Rayne has a point, if a tactless one.] There's a greenhouse and a CES. Castiel is in charge of the greenhouse, and the CES changes periodically.

[lesliemonster]

Excellent! [Look at all of these helpful people, my goodness. Not a single Ultimate Frisbee thrown her way yet.]

Are you a rehabilitation coordinator as well?

[batmanschmatman]

I'd be interested in hearing what some of your ideas are.

[lesliemonster]

[...Well, that is not something she is used to. A moment, while Leslie collects herself.

Okay, moment over. She pulls a binder out from the desk drawer. Multicolored tabs line the edges. She holds it up for inspection. The cover art is clearly visible.]

Where would you like to start?

[socoolbrewster]

...You know "phorically" isn't a word, right?

[lesliemonster]

[Sorry, teenager! She is riding high on multiple people inquiring after her ideas. All you get is a smile. albeit a less enthusiastic one.]

Thank you for listening to my message! What's your name?

[19centconstable]

Hello Miss Knope! I'm Constable George Crabtree, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, also planet Earth. I think activities are a splendid idea! We could all do with a good, non-threatening bonding experience. ...That is the sort of thing you had in mind, isn't it?

[lesliemonster]

No threats at all. Except maybe the threat of too much fun.

[She pauses. Both to wonder why a Canadian is in a cowboy hat, and to think of past shock journalism, courtesy of Pawnee Today with Joan Callamezzo.]

Too much fun is not an actual threat. People have never died from fun on my watch. There was this one time at a hot dog eating competition, but it just turned out to be a heart attack. Thank God.

[inhistorybooks]

I guess you've already heard about movie night. Welcome to the Barge, Ms. Knope.

[lesliemonster]

I take it you're Commander Tucker? It's a pleasure to meet you.

[A look from side to side, and then with the widest eyes you have possibly ever seen:]

Can I ask what kind of Commander you are? Navy? Space Navy?

[The darker side of the barge had to comment]

[lastmanstanding]

...Community activities? Like team building?

[Why hello darkness, have you met sunshine?]

[lesliemonster]

I was thinking more in terms of recreation, but sure! Team building is good, too. I'm amazing at team building seminars. Especially camping-related team building seminars.

Do you like camping?

[with_discipline]

[Phorically? T'Pol's just arching an eyebrow when she turns her video feed on.]

I am T'Pol, of Shi'Kahr. Planet Vulcan. Welcome to the Barge.

[lesliemonster]

[...Okay, what is with this ship and the people on it? There is not an obese person in sight. This lady with the deformed ears is prettier than Ann Perkins.

Than Ann Perkins. It is this, and not the fact that T'Pol is from freaking Vulcan, that is causing Leslie's first mild case of culture shock.]

Thank you -- it's an honor to meet a...Vulcanite? Vulcatonian?

[youwillgotohell]

[Probably a while after the post, because Morgana doesn't really leave her room much, but. :c]

What precisely is a 'Nutra-Yum bar?' [The sarcasm is dripping. :c]

[lesliemonster]

[Well hello, new neighbor!]

An energy bar manufactured by the Sweetums factory! They are from the town I used to live in.

[peektuttut]

Kind of lacking on parks, generally.

[lesliemonster]

That is a shame. But I guess it is spaceship...

No. That's quitters talk. We aren't quitters. I have made small parks before and I can do it again!

[championoftime]

Hello! Hola! Bonjour! Guten Abend and otherwise. I'm the Doctor. It's a pleasure to make you're acquaintance... Though there's not much of a sense of community to inform you of.

[lesliemonster]

God formiddag, Doctor!

Let's see what we can do to change that.

[maybebatman]

Well, it seems like you've already been briefed on our parks situation, Ma'am. I will recommend that you get in touch with Constable Fraser, though. I believe you'll find a willing contributor to your cause in him.

[lesliemonster]

[Grinning, Leslie corks her head to the side and pumps her fist. Then, in what she believes to be a fairly spot on cockney accent:]

Oi, a constable you say! Jolly good!

[She clears her throat. Okay.]

[ Video ]

[surfaceshine]

[Oh. My. Lord. Dean can't leave this alone. He can't. There is way too much quirk and joy going on in this introduction and he is here to watch it go down. (Albeit belatedly.) Have a grinning Winchester, Leslie, and it's an easy, sincere expression.]

Welcome to the Barge, darlin'. I'm Dean, and I'm from Earth too. Everyone been treatin' you alright so far?

[lesliemonster]

[Seriously -- she did not expect a giant prison to be this friendly. No bags of flaming dog poop anywhere.]

So far, everyone's been very welcoming. It's a pleasant surprise.

I'll be honest. [She holds up her hand. Each finger is decorated with a large, clunky ring.] I dressed for slightly different circumstances.

[timesbureaucrat]

Coordinator Narvin, from Gallifrey.

You are aware that a large percentage of the "community" are violent criminals and murderers, yes?

[lesliemonster]

Very nice to meet you.

[Her expression is more professional, here. Leslie's optimism wouldn't have survived years of government service if it didn't have purpose.]

I was given a full description of the population I would be serving. A community is essential to any succesful rehabilitation effort.

[fuglyslut]

[Ho. Ly. Shit.]

Oh my God. What are you doing here????

[lesliemonster]

[Great question, impressionable young woman! But Leslie feels a little bad -- she is obviously being recognized, but she can't return the favor.]

I am here to help the residents of this ship in rehabilitation efforts. Sorry -- are you from Pawnee?

TAKE EVERY CR I HAVE

[themountie]

[Benton Fraser is just settling down to a little light reading (A Comprehensive History of The Recumbent Bicycle) when he hears the quiet noise outside. He doubts it, but he's sort of hoping it might be Roy Slater: it would be awfully nice if his inmate would stop fighting him so much.

But when he opens the door, he's surprised -- and behind him, Diefenbaker is delighted -- to see an unfamiliar blonde woman, instead.]

Ah. Good afternoon, ma'am. May I help you?

INTO MY BOSOM

[lesliemonster]

[Leslie is equally surprised at being caught in the act. A video is one thing, but decades of delivering leaflets to the citizens of Pawnee has taught her well enough that people can get downright irritable when they think you're invading their home.

She stands up, and looks at her new neighbor. She makes a strangled half noise and shakes her head.

Just...what is with this place? What group of people looks like this? It is like the Sears catalog come to life. It's like if the citizens of Pawnee as depicted in Sweetums commercials actually existed, and weren't just highly paid actors from--

Dear God. It's like Eagleton.]

[strangehistorian]

We have a closed environmental system on the top deck that functions as an outdoor recreational area, if that is what you mean!

It's good to meet you, Ms Knope! My name is Chromie, from Tanaris, Kalimdor, planet Azeroth.

[lesliemonster]

It certainly can be!

[And wow. That is definitely the most definitively sounding alien name has head yet.]

...is that near Pluto?