Video One: Hello Citizens!

[lesliemonster]

Hello, Paw – um. Wait a—

[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]

Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.

[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?

[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:

"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!

P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]

Comments

[lesliemonster]

[Wow. Okay, that was quick. Leslie puts the book down, opening the door up slowly.

In person, she still has absolutely no idea who this girl is.]

Hello?

I FORGOT I HADN'T DONE THIS TAG D:

[fuglyslut]

Mom! [Despite all her embarrassment (which is about to get a lot worse), Regina can't help but feel a surge of emotion when she sees her: she missedher mom.

Before Leslie can protest, she reaches out to hug her, pulling her in close--

And stops.

She hasn't hugged her mom in a pretty long time, because what with the horrible boob job, it's always super uncomfortable. Like, both emotionally and physically. But nothing is weird and hard or too pointy or stabbing her in the tit when she hugs this woman...]

...Oh my God, you're not my mom. Ew! [She springs back.] Who are you??

[lesliemonster]

[Oh! Uh, okay. She’s getting hugged, and while she processes that, her arms are splayed at her sides, rather awkwardly.

And then the girl is mad at Leslie for not being her mom, which has been Leslie’s thesis statement this entire time.

She’s deeply confused, and wonders if this is how Councilman Howser feels during their impromptu hallway meetings.]

I’m...Leslie Knope? As I said. Who are you, if I might ask? Why do you think I’m your mom?

[fuglyslut]

Leslie? [Okay, that seals it. No George is named "Leslie." Plus, now that she's looking around and she sees all these books...]

That's so weird, you look exactly like her if she didn't wear makeup and bought her clothes at Target.

[lesliemonster]

Pawnee doesn't have a Target. We almost got one, but we lost it to--

[No. Eagleton taking yet another thing that rightfully belongs to Pawnee is not actually the issue here. Leslie shakes her head.]

I look like your Mom?

[fuglyslut]

Sort of. [The resemblance is a little less, up close.] A little older, maybe.

[lesliemonster]

...I'm 32.

[How old was her mom when she gave birth? Five? But given that Leslie is not actually a high school girl, she shakes it off.]

I'm sorry -- I'd be very disappointed if I thought my mother was visiting and it turned out to be a stranger.

[fuglyslut]

Really? Oops. Sorry.

I'll just let you get back to your... [Reading? Is she reading? While she unpacks? Blech.] ...Whatever. Have fun!

[lesliemonster]

[Because she is in her 30s and not a (twenty-something looking) teenage girl, Leslie just smiles politely and shakes her head.]

Don't worry about it. Sorry for any confusion on my part.