Video One: Hello Citizens!

[lesliemonster]

Hello, Paw – um. Wait a—

[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]

Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.

[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?

[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:

"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!

P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]

Comments

[lesliemonster]

What is?

Baby Animals?

[trenchcoatedly]

Holy water, special weapons, and certain spells and sigils. Also, angels.

[lesliemonster]

Well, Ann Perkins isn't here, so there are no angels on this ship.

[trenchcoatedly]

I've never heard of an angel named Ann Perkins. But I can assure there's an angel on the barge.

[lesliemonster]

Then you've never heard of beauty.

...really? Like a Victoria's Secret model?

[trenchcoatedly]

I'm quite familiar with beauty.

I know the names of all the true angels, and that's not one of them.

[lesliemonster]

Maybe you got a memo mixed up. It happens to me all the time.

[trenchcoatedly]

No, I know the names of all my brothers and sisters, and that is not one of them.

[lesliemonster]

Sorry -- what?

[trenchcoatedly]

I'm sorry. I was unclear. I"m an angel. "Ann Perkins" is not.

[lesliemonster]

You are a liar and best friend insulter and a lying best friend insulter.

[How dare you, Castiel?]

[trenchcoatedly]

[This is a sensitive subject.]

I am not a liar.

[lesliemonster]

Ann Perkins texts messages her friends just to tell them to have a nice day, makes the best coffee in the world, and takes care of me when I have the flu.

What do you do?

[trenchcoatedly]

I watched humanity as it was being made.

[lesliemonster]

Pfft. And I watched your face as it was being your face.

[trenchcoatedly]

What?

[lesliemonster]

That's what I thought.

[trenchcoatedly]

Thought what?

[lesliemonster]

[She has to pause for a moment, because she's actually not sure. BUT STILL.]

I'm just saying, I've seen way more evidence re: my best friend being an angel than random handsome barge guy number four.

[trenchcoatedly]

How would you like me to prove to you I am what I say I am?

[lesliemonster]

How do you even prove something like that?

You could quote the bible at me.

Problem: I haven't read that thing the whole way through.

[trenchcoatedly]

There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

[lesliemonster]

[She should probably recognize that, but the Knope household was a strictly "church on Christmas" kind of household.]

Um, no idea. Sorry.