lesliemonster | 8; Confess your SECRETS at the hot chocolate pillow party.

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lesliemonster

[ooc: this is forward dated to some nebulous time frame after people start to figure out what is going on with the sickness. So please feel free to ignore it/have it reach your character after they've figured out The Deal. Log post to follow!]

Hello, everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Leslie Knope. Warden and co-captain of the Barge Book Club.

I'm contacting you today to both solicit for and offer assistance. You may have already figured out for yourselves the root of the sickness going around the barge, and the cure.

Now, some of you may have your reasons for lying. That's not really any of my business. [Unless your name is Omar, Omar.] I'm just interested in offering up a listening ear for whomever needs it. I can promise you that whatever I hear, so long as it does not directly threaten the life of another passenger aboard this ship, will remain confidential. I will enact similar promises from any other individuals that volunteer to listen. You may speak to whichever volunteer you feel most comfortable with.

And also, I will have a lot of comfortable pillows to sit on, hot chocolate, and popcorn. So there's that. Look for us set up on the deck in two hours.

[Filtered to Wardens.]

I would appreciate any help you would be willing to offer, but only from those that can truly promise not to repeat a word of what they hear. I know there's no binding legal contract here, so all the participants have to trust is your word.

I feel that certain inmates might be more apt to trust Wardens who have already graduated from this program, so any volunteers on that front would be very appreciated.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

omar

Thought you needed a license for a thing like this.

From:

lesliemonster

Hi Omar!

You do, if we were back home and subject to the court system. But that's not really the case here.

It's a bit of a double edged sword, I admit. No confidentiality laws protect either party -- you just have to trust that whomever you speak to will keep their word.

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scentbombed

Interesting idea. [And a moment's hesitation, but...] Well, I can definitely keep a secret, anyway...

From:

lesliemonster

It seems like a better alternative than people forcing themselves sick.

[But under the safety of the filter, Leslie seems a bit unsure. People on this ship have some pretty life ruining things that they could be holding in.]

That's all I need. Will you be there?

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From:

[She's not the surest about this, but since she's made sure it's not affecting her and he doesn't lie, it's worth it.] People know I listen.

From:

lesliemonster

They do.

But, uh. And I say this as someone who finds you very lovely as a person. They also know your boyfriend has a very open proclivity towards murder.

Can I trust you not to repeat anything you hear to him?

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surrenders - Date: 2012-09-08 04:42 am (UTC) - Expand

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More filterjacking

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yeahscience - Date: 2012-09-08 05:03 am (UTC) - Expand

jesse quit :c

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timesbureaucrat

And we're supposed to just take you at your word? You could have been hiding a sudden fit of nausea or an attack of chills as you made your promise and we'd never know.

[Narvin would volunteer to be a listener, but he's pretty sure no one would trust him with their secrets. Ever. And he, in turn, is hesitant to trust anyone with his secrets.]

From:

lesliemonster

I could! I once worked with the flu for 8 hours before anyone noticed-

[WHOO BOY. She stops, shaking her head. Holds up a finger, and then ducks her head under her desk. There is the distinct noise of vomiting. You're welcome for that Narvin. She only speaks again after she's swished around some mouthwash.]

Okay, everyone noticed. I'm a terrible liar. Unless we're playing Scattergories. I cheat at that game often.

But of course you have no reason to trust my word. No one has any reason to trust anyone. It's completely at the discretion of the people telling secrets. I'm just trying to get as large a listener base as is possible, so that somewhere in there is a choice people might actually make.

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surfaceshine

Look, no one's gonna trust an asshole like me with their stuff [despite the fact that they could probably do a lot worse than Dean, but he's gonna curl up in the bed he made, thanks], but I can run security for you. Keep gatecrashers at a distance, that sort of thing.

From:

lesliemonster

[Dean, look at your attention to civic duty! Just look at it!]

I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. Some...a-holes trust other a-holes.

But I don't really think you're an a-hole?

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sharpememory

So you're offering to be what, an agony aunt?

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lesliemonster

...a what now?

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truth_is_cold

Inmates don't trust wardens as a whole. But I'm used to keeping secrets. [Even if he feels sick as a dog right now from his own secret keeping.]

From:

lesliemonster

They don't. All we can do is provide an offer of help and confidentiality. It's better than nothing.

[These services are not inmate-only! Hint hint hint.]

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strangehistorian

I'd love to help!

[She frowns a little. That wasn't a lie, was it? A little hyperbole, maybe.]

From:

lesliemonster

We could use it, Chromie.

[Hyperbole aside, more people on the ship probably trust Chromie than most of the other wardens combined. It's either the good manners or the turning into an awesome beat thing.]

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darknessb4me

It's lying?

[Pause.]

The sky is red. [Ow.]

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deadliestviper

Shit.

And that's not even a fucking lie depending on the time of day.

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[private]

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deadliestviper - Date: 2012-09-08 06:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

[private] - arthas you're ruining it

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ichoosefight

Depends who else is there. I can keep some pretty big secrets. [ Hi Batman, wherever you are. ]

From:

lesliemonster

Great. You might hear some.

[He's Bruce Wayne. BRUCE WAYNE. Hahahahaha.]

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From:

impure_tale

And when shall this club begin? Has it? I've not been well, you see.

[Filter]

I am a graduate. How might I assist you?

From:

lesliemonster

In a few hours. As soon as I can set it up.

[Filter]

Great. Basically, if you can keep a secret, I'd like you to offer to listen to confessions that other passengers might need to make. But only if you honestly believe you can maintain confidentiality.

[...and not turn it into fanfiction >_>]

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-09-12 11:22 pm (UTC) - Expand

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an_abomination

Having many people take you up on your offer?

From:

lesliemonster

More than I expected!

[Filter]

Are you asking as someone who wants to listen or someone who might need a friendly ear?

Filter.

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an_abomination - Date: 2012-09-09 09:01 pm (UTC) - Expand

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buildindreemz

Count me in for a listening ear.

From:

lesliemonster

I'll do just that.

From:

youwillgotohell

How kind of you.

[Augh stomach SARCASM IS NOT LYING.]

From:

lesliemonster

[Morgana, you look gross in a way that only pretty people are allowed to. And you have Leslie's sympathies, so deal.]

We'll be on the deck if you need us. I'm happy to talk over this thing too, if you'd like. Just throwing that out there.

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From:

persuadeyou

Comfortable pillows, now there's an incentive. [She looks like shit. Great flood. :|]

From:

lesliemonster

[Yeeeeeeeesh, Natasha. Leslie looks better than you, and she just threw up in a trash can.]

Plus hot chocolate. I looked into adult sized footie pajamas, but apparently those are kind of a weird...fetish. Thing.

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thestarishere

[Sing-song and Ladd just...stop.

Someone is clearly HUGELY enjoying the fact that he's not particularly effected by this flood in the first place.]

Secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone...

Now why would I tell you about anybody I was plannin' on killing anyway? Doesn't seem to make a whole lotta sense. Dontcha think?

From:

lesliemonster

[Oh hey, Ladd. You are actually scary as fuck. Given that her inmate killed you and she's yet to see any real reaction or retaliation.

Lua says you are cool but Leslie thinks that you are not cool. Still. You are an inmate, so this is mostly kept to internal monologue and giant bug eyes while Leslie says:]

Then you aren't feeling sick, Mr. Russo?

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From:

trenchcoatedly

I will be a listener.

[Castiel looks pretty healthy, actually.]

From:

lesliemonster

You're an--

Uh.

You.

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trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-10 03:22 am (UTC) - Expand

filter

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trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-10 03:32 am (UTC) - Expand

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-09-10 03:34 am (UTC) - Expand

this conversation omg ahhaha

From:

trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-10 03:52 am (UTC) - Expand

Dying rn

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-09-10 03:57 am (UTC) - Expand

cas TOTALLY UNAFFECTED BY THIS COMPLIMENT

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trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-10 03:59 am (UTC) - Expand

it is more a statement of FACT. ask ann perkins friend and beautiful nurse

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-09-10 04:06 am (UTC) - Expand

OMG

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trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-10 05:38 am (UTC) - Expand

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trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-13 12:04 am (UTC) - Expand

his faaaace

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-09-13 12:16 am (UTC) - Expand

DON'T DOUBT HIS FAITH LESLIE

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trenchcoatedly - Date: 2012-09-13 12:23 am (UTC) - Expand

DON'T DOUBT RON'S 'STACH

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From:

mightymorbid

What's the catch?

From:

lesliemonster

Umm. There is none?

From:

unweeping_willow

...Not lying. [Much. Ow. Hunger pain.]

Edited Date: 2012-09-11 10:16 am (UTC)

From:

lesliemonster

...then you feel great?

[video]

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[video]

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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Leslie Knope

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