[Video] I'm Leslie Monster and this is Nightline

[lesliemonster]

[Leslie looks professional as ever, dressed in a bright blue blazer and ready to represent her town, state, country, gender, political beliefs, and world!

...still. There's something beneath that calm, composed smile. Caution, perhaps. Or willingness to poke stupid teenagers in the eye.]

Good afternoon, everyone. I am Leslie Knope of Pawnee, Indiana. If anyone from the Parks and Recreation department or city hall is listening, I would love to touch base!

[Anyone from Pawnee, really.

Except Greg Pikitis.]

Alternatively, if any of you happen to have questions about the barge itself or this rehabilitation program, I would be happy to answer them.

[Unless they are stupid questions from stupid Greg Pikitis.]

Comments

[lesliemonster]

That...is what usually happens when someone falls asleep. Good morning!

[keepsthemsafe]

...I wasn't the one dreaming.

This can't be real. This phone ain't had no power since forever.

[lesliemonster]

Oh. Well -- perhaps you should remember to plug it in more often? Regardless, the mechanics of the Barge don't seen to have much regard for the laws of physics.

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane's expression is hard] I left the phone charger behind when we left camp in Atlanta. Didn't seem important.

The fuck is the barge.

[lesliemonster]

Oh! My mentor, Ron Swanson, has a similar no electronics when camping policy. It really helps you to reconnect with nature.

[Camping is so great! When it's recreational and not a means to survive!]

The barge is an inter dimensional rehabilitation facility. We're kind of in space, kind of not.

[keepsthemsafe]

...Interdimensional rehabilitation facility.

[the notion hits that he really may be losing his mind and Shane curls up around one knee and stares at the phone looking...lost.]

Yeah, no electronics really helps you connect with nature. You cook your own food too? Clean it? Live off the land?

[lesliemonster]

Sometimes, yeah. Except rabbits. I can't skin anything cute.

Are you okay?

[keepsthemsafe]

Why wouldn't I be?

[He's not, but he's not planning on saying anything about that]

[lesliemonster]

Well, you keep forgetting you cell phone charger, for one.

[keepsthemsafe]

Lady, you don't know where I'm from or anything else. I forgot my charger cause' of the goddamn walkers my neighbors were turnin' into.

[Click. hang up]