lesliemonster | [Video] I'm Leslie Monster and this is Nightline

[Leslie looks professional as ever, dressed in a bright blue blazer and ready to represent her town, state, country, gender, political beliefs, and world!

...still. There's something beneath that calm, composed smile. Caution, perhaps. Or willingness to poke stupid teenagers in the eye.]

Good afternoon, everyone. I am Leslie Knope of Pawnee, Indiana. If anyone from the Parks and Recreation department or city hall is listening, I would love to touch base!

[Anyone from Pawnee, really.

Except Greg Pikitis.]

Alternatively, if any of you happen to have questions about the barge itself or this rehabilitation program, I would be happy to answer them.

[Unless they are stupid questions from stupid Greg Pikitis.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

keepsthemsafe

[Here is a bald man with an extremely wary expression staring at his feed.

This is...the last thing he expected. He'd been looking at his phone, bemoaning the money he'd spent on the damn thing before the world ended and suddenly...it flickered to life.

It's the first time he's heard anything digital (apart from the psycho-security system at the CDC) and...

It's weird. He never thought about how harsh and alien that might sound now. Unaware of the video feed function, he holds it close and scrutinizes it. Closely]

From:

lesliemonster

[...hello, bald yet ruggedly handsome man! Leslie is going to go ahead and stare back at you. Politely. Until somebody says something.]

From:

keepsthemsafe

...S'fuckin' dream.

[He pinches his arm to be sure.] S'got to be a dream.

[He rubs at his forehead] 've been dreaming.

From:

lesliemonster

That...is what usually happens when someone falls asleep. Good morning!

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keepsthemsafe - Date: 2012-11-09 03:08 am (UTC) - Expand

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-11-09 03:31 am (UTC) - Expand

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From:

pikitis

Hey, Knope.

From:

lesliemonster

Nope.

From:

pikitis

Knope!

From:

lesliemonster

Why is it always you?

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pikitis - Date: 2012-11-09 02:43 am (UTC) - Expand

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-11-09 02:44 am (UTC) - Expand

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pikitis - Date: 2012-11-12 01:42 am (UTC) - Expand

From:

bigdickplaya

Why the fuck do I have fucking Pawnee Indiana on my motherfucking phone?

[The balding man raises a hand] Why the fuck isn't anybody fucking taking care of this!

From:

lesliemonster

Because you are a very fortunate [very oddly shaped] shaped man!

From:

bigdickplaya

Fortunate? No, fucking putting in the phonecall to fucking Jennifer Garner correctly would be fortunate. Who the fuck are you?

From:

lesliemonster

[Okay, sir. All of this language is completely unnecessary, there is a Greg Pikitis in the mix, and you are at the receiving end of Leslie's scary face.]

I'm Leslie Fucking Knope. Who the hell are you?

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-11-10 09:31 pm (UTC) - Expand

I am so sorry.

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bigdickplaya - Date: 2012-11-11 01:30 am (UTC) - Expand

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lesliemonster - Date: 2012-11-13 06:41 am (UTC) - Expand

From:

disneyfaced

Hi! Hello, my name is Annie, and I have a lot of questions. The first question is; What is happening?

[Did she fall asleep in the Dreamatorium? Better question, did she fall asleep in her room and get dragged into the Dreamatorium? It wouldn't be the first time. Definitely won't be the last.]

From:

lesliemonster

If I were to apply science to it, I would -- fail. Miserably. We just chalk it up to Mysterious Space Stuff and move along. I hope that we're not interrupting anything important?

[Leslie doesn't know much about Dreamatoriums. But she is pretty amazing at pillow forts.]

From:

disneyfaced

Oh. That is... less reassuring than I'd hoped.

[But she smiles anyway!] Oh no, you're not interrupting. I mean, yes I was on my way to meet my study group and I keep getting all these strange video calls from people I don't know, but you're not interrupting anythiiiing. It's fiiiiine.

[... The nervous laughter and passive aggressive hand-wave says otherwise.]

From:

lesliemonster

[Oh, no. All of the Barge on one cell phone? That is a terrible, profanity laden idea. Leslie can't help but grimace.]

Oh, dear. I hope there weren't any children around.

From:

greypilgrim

Looks like you're dealing with a rather troublesome imp, there. I'd swear he was a Took if his feet were a bit furrier.

Think on it this way: one day he will be dealing with such charming traits in his own son. [He raises his shaggy eyebrows in good humor and blows a smoke ring.]

From:

lesliemonster

[Magneto-with-a-beard. Surely, you meant well by that statement. But Leslie's eyes go wide in horror.]

He can't procreate. I wouldn't wish that on future generations of Parks Department employees.

From:

greypilgrim

Well now. [He strokes his beard, which is voluminous enough to hide a cat in.] It sounds like he's been a bit more than obnoxious then. What has he done?

From:

fakedit

[Eyes his phone. The message is clearly meant for someone else but he was looking for an excuse to not get started on his Anthropology paper and lo-and-behold, he presented itself to him.]

Call me crazy, but doesn't it usually help to...oh, I don't know, try to advertise to people in the right state?