Video One: Hello Citizens!

[lesliemonster]

Hello, Paw – um. Wait a—

[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]

Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.

[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?

[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:

"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!

P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]

Comments

[lesliemonster]

...that is freaking awesome. That's even better than space, and I didn't know that being better than space was an option anywhere, ever.

But.

I don't think you're joking? About the demons? Or you have an incredibly dry sense of humor that I do not understand. If that's the case, please tell me.

[trenchcoatedly]

No, I'm being completely serious about the demon. I'm not usually lauded for my sense of humor; it's a more difficult trait to understand.

[lesliemonster]

[Huh.]

Kind of wish I had left room in my suitcase for a proper hunting rifle.

[She overloaded it with all seven Harry Potters. Should have buckled and bought a Kindle, Leslie. Rookie mistake.]

[trenchcoatedly]

In many cases, bullets aren't effective against demons.

[lesliemonster]

What is?

Baby Animals?

[trenchcoatedly]

Holy water, special weapons, and certain spells and sigils. Also, angels.

[lesliemonster]

Well, Ann Perkins isn't here, so there are no angels on this ship.

[trenchcoatedly]

I've never heard of an angel named Ann Perkins. But I can assure there's an angel on the barge.

[lesliemonster]

Then you've never heard of beauty.

...really? Like a Victoria's Secret model?

[trenchcoatedly]

I'm quite familiar with beauty.

I know the names of all the true angels, and that's not one of them.

[lesliemonster]

Maybe you got a memo mixed up. It happens to me all the time.

[trenchcoatedly]

No, I know the names of all my brothers and sisters, and that is not one of them.

[lesliemonster]

Sorry -- what?

[trenchcoatedly]

I'm sorry. I was unclear. I"m an angel. "Ann Perkins" is not.

[lesliemonster]

You are a liar and best friend insulter and a lying best friend insulter.

[How dare you, Castiel?]

[trenchcoatedly]

[This is a sensitive subject.]

I am not a liar.

[lesliemonster]

Ann Perkins texts messages her friends just to tell them to have a nice day, makes the best coffee in the world, and takes care of me when I have the flu.

What do you do?

[trenchcoatedly]

I watched humanity as it was being made.

[lesliemonster]

Pfft. And I watched your face as it was being your face.

[trenchcoatedly]

What?

[lesliemonster]

That's what I thought.

[trenchcoatedly]

Thought what?

[lesliemonster]

[She has to pause for a moment, because she's actually not sure. BUT STILL.]

I'm just saying, I've seen way more evidence re: my best friend being an angel than random handsome barge guy number four.

[trenchcoatedly]

How would you like me to prove to you I am what I say I am?

[lesliemonster]

How do you even prove something like that?

You could quote the bible at me.

Problem: I haven't read that thing the whole way through.