Video One: Hello Citizens!

[lesliemonster]

Hello, Paw – um. Wait a—

[The screen comes up, and the viewer is treated to a lovely close up shot of a single, blue eye. Then a nose, and then there’s the rest of her! Leslie sits at her desk chair, wearing a blue blazer set that she specifically purchased for today. She clears her throat, and smiles.]

Hello. I am Leslie Knope, from Pawnee, Indiana. United States. Planet Earth. [A pause. How cool is this!?] I really admire the work that you all are doing here, and I am so happy for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and pitch in. Metaphorically. Phorically, I would possibly change my shirt first and then help however I can.

[If anyone needs her to help build cabinets, she has a toolbox – no, Leslie! Stay on topic.] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming community activities! Now, what is the status of your parks around here?

[Edit: Spam for residents of Level 8: Sitting in front of your doors, you will find a small basket of various candy treats, including several Nutra-Yum Bars. There is a note attached that says:

"A little taste of Pawnee, Indiana. From your new neighbor, Leslie Knope!

P.S. Please don't eat more than one Nutra-Yum bar a day or your teeth may fall out. That is not an expression, that is a legal disclaimer."]

Comments

[lesliemonster]

Is that a relatively common occurrence? Space pirates?

[trenchcoatedly]

You know, this isn't technically space as you know it. We're between dimensions.

And it simply a rogue demon. I don't think it's common, but I can't say for sure.

[lesliemonster]

I'm from Indiana. There is no space as I know it.

...come again?

[trenchcoatedly]

What do you see, when you look up?

A rogue demon.

[lesliemonster]

Something very far away.

Sure. As opposed to a domesticated demon. [You are funny, Castiel!]

[trenchcoatedly]

That's space. What's outside the barge isn't space.

I don't think I've ever met a domesticated demon.

[lesliemonster]

Are you sure? It looks very not-earthy.

Yeah. I can...imagine they would be difficult to house train?

[trenchcoatedly]

It's... complicated to explain. There's a substantial amount of quantum particle equations involved. The simplest way to explain it would be to say that your dimension is not the only dimension and there's space between these dimensions... which is where we are.

I imagine they'd kill you at the suggestion alone. They tend to be prideful.

[lesliemonster]

...that is freaking awesome. That's even better than space, and I didn't know that being better than space was an option anywhere, ever.

But.

I don't think you're joking? About the demons? Or you have an incredibly dry sense of humor that I do not understand. If that's the case, please tell me.

[trenchcoatedly]

No, I'm being completely serious about the demon. I'm not usually lauded for my sense of humor; it's a more difficult trait to understand.

[lesliemonster]

[Huh.]

Kind of wish I had left room in my suitcase for a proper hunting rifle.

[She overloaded it with all seven Harry Potters. Should have buckled and bought a Kindle, Leslie. Rookie mistake.]

[trenchcoatedly]

In many cases, bullets aren't effective against demons.

[lesliemonster]

What is?

Baby Animals?

[trenchcoatedly]

Holy water, special weapons, and certain spells and sigils. Also, angels.

[lesliemonster]

Well, Ann Perkins isn't here, so there are no angels on this ship.

[trenchcoatedly]

I've never heard of an angel named Ann Perkins. But I can assure there's an angel on the barge.

[lesliemonster]

Then you've never heard of beauty.

...really? Like a Victoria's Secret model?

[trenchcoatedly]

I'm quite familiar with beauty.

I know the names of all the true angels, and that's not one of them.

[lesliemonster]

Maybe you got a memo mixed up. It happens to me all the time.

[trenchcoatedly]

No, I know the names of all my brothers and sisters, and that is not one of them.

[lesliemonster]

Sorry -- what?

[trenchcoatedly]

I'm sorry. I was unclear. I"m an angel. "Ann Perkins" is not.

[lesliemonster]

You are a liar and best friend insulter and a lying best friend insulter.

[How dare you, Castiel?]

[trenchcoatedly]

[This is a sensitive subject.]

I am not a liar.

[lesliemonster]

Ann Perkins texts messages her friends just to tell them to have a nice day, makes the best coffee in the world, and takes care of me when I have the flu.

What do you do?